I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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