okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
