Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
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