Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
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