speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
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