David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
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