i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Randomize
