if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
