he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Randomize
