No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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