The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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