yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
