She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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