I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
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