is wine microwaveable?
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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