We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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