I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Randomize
