Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
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