Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
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