first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
She even gives head with a lisp.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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