Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Randomize
