Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Randomize
