Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
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