went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize
