You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
