I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize
