Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(613): View more from Ontario

New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.

(1-613): View more from Ontario

We are no longer friends.

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(623): View more from Arizona

If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope

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(559): View more from California

Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE

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(304): View more from West Virginia

She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments

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(207): View more from Maine

you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom

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(941): View more from Florida

Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?

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(678): View more from Georgia

His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".

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(310): View more from California

Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.

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(438): View more from Quebec

I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience

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