Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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