i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
