too bad you live with your parents still
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize