If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Randomize
