this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Randomize
