is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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