Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
So much rum. So many feels.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
