Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
