And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Randomize