We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
last night I used snow as a chaser
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Randomize
