4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
