His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Randomize
