I'm really into asian looking animals
I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Randomize