Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
