i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
it's like iHOP with fire
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
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