cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Randomize
