dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
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