whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Randomize
