Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Randomize
