Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
So vagazzling was a success
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
