Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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