It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
