Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
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