When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I showed him my bush... on skype.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
