So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
