just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize