VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
