just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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