Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Randomize
