But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
