Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize