You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
