i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Randomize
