Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
no more duck duck goose at the bar
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Randomize
