Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
