we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
He is an equal opportunity slut.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Randomize
