Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Randomize
