i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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