Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
