my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I need water and some morals
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
