Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Randomize
