i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
