YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Randomize
