I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
